Fifth Sunday after Pentecost: The Weeds Known By the Name Ex-Gay Groups

Scriptural Basis

Matthew 13:24-30,36-43 (NRSV)

Jesus put before the crowd another parable: "The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, `Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?' He answered, `An enemy has done this.' The slaves said to him, `Then do you want us to go and gather them?' But he replied, `No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.'"

Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples approached him, saying, "Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field." He answered, "The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; the field is the world, and the good seed are the children of the kingdom; the weeds are the children of the evil one, and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are angels. Just as the weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so will it be at the end of the age. The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers, and they will throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let anyone with ears listen!"

Blog Reflection


The subject of ex-gay groups have been all over the news these past two weeks.  

On Friday, July 8th, Truth Wins Out put out a press release about the clinic operated by Marcus Bachmann.  Marcus Bachmann is married to Michele Bachmann who is the representative of Minnesota's 8th Congressional District and also a Presidential Candidate for the 2012 election. 

In the press release Truth Wins Out (TWO) revealed that they had sent John Becker an undercover staff member to receive counseling services from a so-called therapist at Bachmann's clinic. During the session, it became very clear that the counselor was performing reparative and/or ex-gay "therapy" with Becker.  The counselor attempted  to "change" John Becker's sexual orientation.  The "therapists" methods were not based on any scientific fact. The work that the "therapist" did was based on the illogical and harmful work of the National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH).  During the "therapy" sessions, the counselor referred to his perception of how God creates a man to be attracted to women, not other men. 

Being an ex-gay survivor myself, watching the clips via the news media this past week brought back some memories.  I remember the days of being involved with the Catholic church's ex-gay group Courage, that was started in the 1980's by the Late Cardinal Cook. I remembered the first time the Courage Chaplain told me that God created me as a straight man, but that I have a "problem" known as "same-sex attraction (SSA)."   A problem that was most likely brought about because of my father who was emotionally and psychologically abusive.  There were various reasons mentioned for what my "problem" was. 

As I have listened to the rhetoric this week, including AFA's Brian Fischer remark that the Bachmann's are the "victims of a hate crime, because of their heterosexual orientation," I became very disturbed. Even with the research of the American Medical Association and the American Psychological Association of  reparative/ex-gay therapy which is done at Bachmann's clinic.

Reparative/ex-gay therapy is based on ignorance that plays into fear that creates and nurtures  horrible atmosphere around individuals and whole communities based on our sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression.

In the Gospel today, Jesus tells the parable of the weeds and the wheat. In the explanation of the parable Jesus states that he is the sower of the good seed and that the sower of the wheat is the evil one. He describes the weeds as good only for burning.

What frightening imagery!

What is also fearful about the wheat and weeds imagery is how often it is used by preachers and even ex-gay "therapists" to scare LGBT and questioning individuals from youth to adulthood, into believing that their sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression are "weeds" that are ruining the good seed that God has sowed with in them.  This imagery along with the interpretation and application are all misplaced and incorrect.

As I have written in many blogs, sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression are linked to the soul of our being. They are part of how God has created each individual person. From that soul comes a person's ability to love other people. Not only physically and sexually, but also completely whole-heartedly. An individual who is LGBT cannot love another person physical, sexual or platonic as a straight person or as a person who is not transgender. The very soul from which a person loves another person in all facets of her or his being is a product of that "good seed" sown by God with in every individual regardless of sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression. 

Reparative/ex-gay therapy, along with it's misinterpretation of Scripture, spiritual malpractice and doctrinal abuse are weeds within the Christian community that are only good for one thing. 

Burning! 

Why?  Because they are harmful to individuals as well as to whole communities of good people.  Good people who are who we are, love as we love and only desire to do so without some reparative/ex-gay guru attempting something that is unnatural and lethal to what God has so freely and lovingly created. 

What should have been included in today's Psalm is 139: 14: "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works, that I know very well."

Fearfully (the word should be lovingly) and wonderfully made are all God's people. Individually and communally. We are all created by the beauty and wonder of God's holy love. We are all created with God's love as our origin and destiny. God knows each of us, before we know ourselves. God the Holy Spirit who took part in our creation has given to each person something unique, powerful, wonderful and designed for  holiness of heart, mind and life. One of those parts of each human person that is unique, powerful, wonderful and designed for holiness of heart, mind and life is our bodies ability to love and be loved by another person and to respond to giving and receiving that love, as if we were never closer to God in any other given moment.

An individuals sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression that is part of every human beings soul, is Sacred Space.  It is a place that no individual, counselor, pope, bishop, priest, deacon, minister, lay person, individual other than God and one's soul mate has any business violating or attempting to alter for their own purpose or pleasure. 

Such is the danger of reparative/ex-gay therapy.  Such an invasion and molestation of one's soul cannot be understood as something holy or Christ commissioned. Reparative/ex-gay therapy is a "weed" that seeks to destroy the goodness of the seed that God has planted in each LGBT person, family and/or couple.  It is the same good seed that exists in heterosexual individuals and/or individuals who are born of one gender and stay that way their entire life.  How a woman or man loves another person, same-sex or opposite-sex is part of that Sacred Space where God dwells and calls each individual by her/his name and is fearfully and wonderfully made.

Progressive Christians and all individuals of good will, need to consider very carefully the news we have heard this week. There is the temptation to make religion as the culprit. As badly as religion is manipulated and abused for the work of reparative/ex-gay therapy, it is just that. A manipulated and abused use of religion to invite fear, prejudice and violence of a very severe nature. It is a capitalistic industry that needs to be starved to death and allowed to die. It does not serve a good purpose. It is destructive. Worst of all, it distorts and disdains the Name and reputation of the God of unconditional and all-inclusive love.

I hope everyone will commit themselves to telling the truth about reparative/ex-gay groups. I also hope that many others will take the information we heard this week seriously enough to give the collective response that this kind of abusive and intrusive "therapy" must be protested and discontinued. 

May God the Holy Spirit with her grace of conversion and healing lead us all to become effective missionaries in this important endeavor.


Prayers

Almighty God, the fountain of all wisdom, you know our necessities before we ask and our ignorance in asking: Have compassion on our weakness, and mercifully give us those things which for our unworthiness we dare not, and for our blindness we cannot ask; through the worthiness of your Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. (Proper 11, Book of Common Prayer, page 231).

O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (Prayer for the Human Family, Book of Common Prayer, page 815).

O God of our Lord Jesus Christ, our only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is but one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may be all of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (Prayer for the Unity of the Church, Book of Common Prayer, page 819).

Jesus On Trial Because He Loved Differently

Matt. 26: 57- 68 (NRSV)

Those who had arrested Jesus took him to Caiaphas the high priest, in whose house the scribes and the elders had gathered. But Peter was following him at a distance, as far as the courtyard of the high priest; and going inside, he sat with the guards in order to see how this would end. Now the chief priests and the whole council were looking for false testimony against Jesus so that they might put him to death, but they found none, though many false witnesses came forward. At last two came forward and said, "This fellow said, 'I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.' " The high priest stood up and said, "Have you no answer? What is it that they testify against you?"  But Jesus was silent. Then the high priest said to him, "I put you under oath before the living God, tell us if you are the Messiah, the Son of God." Jesus said to him, "You have said so. But I tell you,
From now on you will see the Son of Man
seated at the right hand of Power
and coming on the clouds of heaven."
Then the high priest tore his clothes and said, "He has blasphemed! Why do we still need witnesses? You have now heard his blasphemy. What is your verdict?" They answered, "He deserves death." Then they spat in his face and struck him; and some slapped him, saying, "Prophesy to us, you Messiah! Who is it that struck you?

While we have spent the last two days remembering five amazing women who have inspired Christians towards a more inclusive community, the Daily Office Lectionary has been recounting for us the trial that led up to Jesus' Passion.  Here Jesus stands before those who are trying to accuse him so that he can be sentenced to death.  Yet, what stands out here at least to me is that Jesus is condemned to death because he proclaims who he is.  

Before I continue with this reflection I want to state very clearly that the Episcopal Church as well as I, condemns all suggestions that the Jewish people killed Jesus.  We also condemn all ideas that the Jewish people must be converted to Christianity in order to be saved.  Such thinking has led to anti-Judaism that has resulted in much violence and discrimination towards the Jewish people.  This kind of philosophy has no place in any worship space within Christianity.


Our sins condemned Jesus to die, ultimately.  Our pride, selfishness, arrogance and even our insistence that our will is more important, than the will of God.  Even though Jesus confessed in so many words who he was, when he replied to the High Priest: "It is you who have said so" Jesus was still condemned to die, taking onto himself the sins of all humankind.


As I read these amazing words of what happened at Jesus' trial, I am reminded of several stories of women and men who have been beaten because they are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and/or questioning/queer.  Many LGBTQ people have been beaten by police, ordinary citizens of various colors and creeds, all because they told people that they are LGBTQ.  One such incident happened in Minneapolis in 2009 when a man was walking home from Pride weekend.  He was followed by a group of Somali boys who were yelling: "I don't like gay people."  It was harassment of the most immature kind.  There is the incredible, yet heart breaking story of Matthew Shepard who was beaten and burned by Aaron McKinney.  Last November, Jason and I attended a memorial service for more than 40 individuals who had been beaten and/or killed all over the world because they are transgendered.  Many of the individuals to date, have no name given to who they were.  The most amazing violence is endured by so many people, mostly because of who they are.  


Violence done to individuals is not limited to sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression.  Over this past year our news has been inundated with how much racial and political violence is being pushed by the Tea Party.  One Tea Party candidate in New Hampshire who is a confessing white supremecist wants the Tea Party to be more open with their racism.  Racism is also undoubtedly behind Arizona's "papers please" immigration law.  America continues to be a place where racism, sexism, heterosexism and religious bias is very much alive and well.  We are all set as a society to do each other in because of our prejudices and the stereotypes that are in people's minds over minorities.  Yet, we are so not in a place to discuss how our bigotry towards people of different races, cultures, classes, sexual orientations, genders, gender identities/expressions cause the divisions within American religion and politics.


Jesus was ultimately condemned to die because Jesus loved everyone who was different in society and within the religious community.  Those who had been thrown aside and left out, found some one to love them in Jesus Christ.  Women who were second class citizens found a best friend in Jesus, because he saw them as women and not as throw aways.  Jesus saw value in the lepers, the blind, the deaf, the tax collector, the person who fished, those from foreign lands.   Jesus even gave a name and face to the dead, who were the ultimate forgotten people.   Because Jesus loved differently and loved those who were suppose to be unlovable, Jesus' political opponents had to work to get rid of him, because he took the focus of people off of them, and placed it where it belonged on God.  Jesus' political opponent is anyone who feels that there are people in this world who have no place in the House of God, the Church.  Those who are opponents of God's perfect revelation, are those who know that when God's love should go first, instead what has to go first are those people who make us uncomfortable.  


At the Cross though is an amazing irony.  At the Cross there is no such thing as anyone who is not welcome to be there with Jesus, except maybe those of us who are too ashamed to be caught there with everyone else who weeps at the feet of the dying Jesus in the broken-hearted, the dying, the sick, the homeless.   When we choose to allow the LGBTQ person to the altar in the Episcopal Church who has been forced to leave the Catholic church because they will not compromise who they are to join the Courage Ex-gay ministry or, will not break up their relationship to be admitted to Holy Communion, we are welcoming the crucified and risen Christ.  When we receive someone who has been rejected by the Church and others, we are choosing to be with Jesus as he is lonely, without someone to love and in need of acceptance and a place to live.  At the Cross though is also those who need to be forgiven for every time they have slammed the door in Jesus' face when he came a knocking.  It is where all failure to love God, our neighbors and ourselves finds forgiveness and an opportunity to try again. It is where everyone including LGBTQ people can stand there with Mary Magdalene who we will commemorate tomorrow, and know that we have been in the presence of God's perfect revelation, and our lives and hopefully the lives of many, many people will never be the same. 

Almighty God, the fountain of all wisdom, you know our necessities before we ask and our ignorance in asking: Have compassion on our weakness, and mercifully give us those things which for our unworthiness we dare not, and for our blindness we cannot ask; through the worthiness of your Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. (Proper 11, Book of Common Prayer, Page 231).

Almighty God, you proclaim your truth in every age by many voices: Direct, in our time, we pray, those who speak where many listen and write what many read; that they may do their part in making the heart of this people wise, its mind sound, and its will righteous; to the honor of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (Prayer for Those Who Influence Public Opinion, Book of Common Prayer, Page 827).

Look with pity, O heavenly Father, upon the people in this land who live with injustice, terror, disease, and death as their constant companions. Have mercy upon us. Help us to eliminate our cruelty to these our neighbors. Strengthen those who spend their lives establishing equal protection of the law and equal opportunities for all. And grant that every one of us may enjoy a fair portion of the riches of this land; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (Prayer for the Oppressed, Book of Common Prayer, Page 826). 

Finding LGBTQ Inclusion in Paul's Letter to the Romans

Rom. 12: 1- 8 (NRSV)

I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-what is good and acceptable and perfect.
 
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

When I was part of the Catholic church's ex gay ministry Courage that was started by Cardinal Cook in the late 1970's early 80's, this reading from Paul to the Romans about offering our bodies as spiritual sacrifices was one that many who attend the meetings like to use to help them work towards chastity.  Chastity by devout conservative Catholics is understood as abstaining from all sexual activity including masturbation if you are single, and sex for the single purpose of procreation between one man and one woman in the Sacrament of Matrimony.   Such ideology becomes a reason for ex gay ministries to prey upon the emotional and psychological health of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and questioning individuals who exercise their love within healthy, committed, loving and long term relationships.  To the extent that such thinking is suppose to be "holy" or even "offering of one's body as a living sacrifice" is to ignore the natural and biological feelings and expressions of one's sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression.  


There is a great deal of discussion and writing about what is "natural" in the matter of sexual orientation.  Yet it is also Paul's writings and understanding of what is natural and unnatural that can help us to have a healthy respect for the diversity of sexual orientation.  When we understand that an individuals sexual orientation whether homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual is part of a person's natural make up, then we can make some room in our hearts, minds, theologies and moral teachings so as to open our hearts to the acceptance of sexual diversity.  When we open ourselves to greater understandings of Scripture as well as sexual diversity, we can also begin to look at any prejudices we might have and begin to cooperate with the Holy Spirit's power to be healed.


Let us begin again to look at what Paul is writing with regards to LGBTQ people, but seeing sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression as natural and part of God's plan for humankind.   Read again the first part of Paul's letter to the Romans.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:1).

Okay, if we are going to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, then we must first accept and honor the reactions of our bodies with what is true.  A man's penis does not become erect at the sight of another man because he is really attracted to women, but because his father "emasculated" him, he experiences "same-sex attraction" and therefore he is "disordered."   Offering our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God cannot be with all sincerity what it is, if we lie to and about ourselves when our bodies speak so clearly about who or what we are attracted to physically.   A woman who becomes physically excited in the presence of another woman is not reacting that way, because she has an unhealthy view of herself as a female.  For a woman to assume otherwise, is to lie to herself and to God.  In so doing, how is a woman offering herself and her body as a living sacrifice,  holy and acceptable to God, when she does not even accept how God has created her?   We can argue the whole psychological affects of child molestation all day long, but that still does not explain how the biological bodies of a gay man or a lesbian woman reacts in the presence of individuals of the same sex.  It also does not explain the beauty and life-giving reality of the romance between two men or two women and how such deep, lovingly powerful emotions draw same-sex couples into a closer relationship with God and each other.


In the case of our transgendered friends, to what extent do those who are one gender, yet know in their insides that they are a different gender honoring God and their bodies by being someone that they are not?  Denying the essence of who one is, has very damaging consequences.  Has Christian theology really remained so narrow that seeing God's goodness in someone knowing that she is really a he, or he is really a she, and wants to be both inside and out the very person each person knows who they are, is somehow outside of God's ability to love, work with and help in their journey of faith and life?   Is God really in this small of a Pandoras Box, or are conservative Christians?  


If we understand that sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression is part of one's natural make up, as in who God has created the individual to be, then, we also have to look at the second part of Paul's letter a bit differently.  

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2).

Understanding that LGBTQ individuals are who and what they are as part of God's wonderful plan for humankind, then we must understand that all violence, discrimination and cruelty towards people of sexual and gender diversity is completely unacceptable.  To be "conformed to this world" is to allow our prejudices to so control us that we must do everything in our power to keep LGBTQ people from marriage equality, will loose their jobs, housing, public funding, be considered inadequate to be ordained Bishops, Priests and Deacons, and even oppose hate crimes protections.   This sounds very much like what is happening with the National Organization for Marriage, the Family Research Council, the American Family Association, Focus on the Family, and the Catholic church.  This also sounds a lot like the conservative voices within the Anglican Communion.  How about the "missionaries of Hate" that increased the atmosphere of hate in Uganda?  How very disturbing when conservative Christians condone such behaviors and attitudes.  It is very much "conforming to the ways of this world."

If we are "transformed by the renewing of our minds" then we submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit and allow her to help us out of those Pandoras Boxes that we have created for her and God's loving presence.  If we accept the Holy Spirit's transformation and renewal of our minds, then we will learn to see all people including LGBTQ as being created, redeemed and loved by God the Creator of all.  Realizing along with Paul than no two people are created the same, but we are all endowed with wonderful gifts by God, we recognize that everyone including LGBTQ people have wonderful and valuable things to offer in the world and the Church.   We would be all too happy to welcome LGBTQ people as Bishops, Priests, Deacons.   Just look at the wonderful Bishops that are Gene Robinson and Mary Glasspool.  See the wonderful work of the Dr. Rev. Mel White, Rev. Susan Russell, Rev. Gayle Marsh, Rev. Irene Monroe and so many more.  There are so many wonderful LGBTQ people that offer their bodies, themselves and all of their gifts in service of the Church and the rest of the world.   In our own unique way, we do offer ourselves to do the work of God, that is pleasing and perfect in God's sight.


Today's writing from Paul is an opportunity to make sure that we are offering ourselves to God, being open to the renewal of our minds and placing our diverse gifts at the service of God and others.  

O Lord, mercifully receive the prayers of your people who call upon you, and grant that they may know and understand what things they ought to do, and may also have grace and power faithfully to accomplish them; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. (Proper 10, Book of Common Prayer, Page 231).

O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (Prayer for the Human Family, Book of Common Prayer, Page 815).

Who Were The Eunuchs? Is there "Courage" to find out?

Matt: 19: 11 and 12 (NRSV)

Jesus said to them, "Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."

Christian history has moved quite a few milestones over these many centuries.  At one point in time the eunuchs referred to here in Matthew's Gospel as those men who were castrated. In the Old Testament the eunuchs were definitely understood to be those who were unable to share male seed, as such they were rejected in the worship of the community.  "No one whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off shall be admitted to the assembly of the LORD." (Deut. 23:1).  When we get into the Prophet Isaiah where we are hearing about the coming of a new Covenant, the eunuch will be recognized as an important member of the community.  "For thus says the LORD: To the eunuchs who keep my sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give, in my house and within my walls, a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off." (Isaiah 56: 4,5).

John J. McNeil in his book "The Church and the Homosexual" writes about the eunuchs.

"The application of this prophecy to the homosexual can be defended, because the term "eunuch" in the New Testament is used not only in its literal sense--i.e., those who have been physically castrated--but also in a symbolic sense for all those who for various reasons do not marry and bear children.  For example in Matthew 19:12, Jesus discussing marriage and divorce, says to his apostles: "There are eunuchs who have been so from birth,and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven."

The first category-those eunuchs who have been so from birth--is the closest description we have in the Bible of what we understand today as a homosexual.  It should come as no surprise, then, that the first group of outcasts of Israel that the Holy Spirit includes within the new covenant community is symbolized by the Ethiopian eunuch.  It is the Spirit who takes the initiative by leading Philip to the encounter with the Ethiopian eunuch of the Court of Candace.  The eunuch believes in Christ as the Messiah and receives baptism and the Spirit and rides on into history "full of joy."  The symbolism of the passage is quite obvious.  The Holy Spirit takes the initiative in leading the new Christian community to include among its members those who were excluded for sexual reasons from the Old Testament community." (Pages 64, 65).

I also want to include here a quote from the blog of Fr. Paul Bresnahan a semi-retired Episcopal Priest from Massachusetts.  In his Invitation to an Inclusive Church, Fr. Paul writes:

"There was a special place in his (Jesus) heart too for the “eunuchs” of his time. I wonder what he meant by the following startling saying; But he said to them, "Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can." (Matthew 19:11-12) You can define that term as you like, but they clearly were not a threat to folks of the opposite sex. There is considerable evidence that when the biblical material refers to “eunuchs” we were talking of folks whose interests lay with folks of the same sex. We now refer to this group as lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgendered, LGBT for short. And isn't it interesting to note that even Jesus realized that there were those who would find this teaching a hard one to accept. The radical love of Jesus is often hard to take because it includes our enemies.

I believe that Jesus stood up for this crowd too as he stood up for us all, and I am convinced that is why they put him to death on the cross. Jesus was not a liberal. He merely loved everyone! That’s why God died. That’s why God is Risen. That’s why God will come again!"

As God through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit has raised the eunuch, the homosexual to a place of honor, acceptance and even pride, why then are so many Christians working to denigrate and smear us, in the Name of God?  And why are so many LGBT people giving into the pressures of Christians and accepting that we must not be good holy people and therefore throw away our relationship with God?  I understand that there are many church communities that do not welcome LGBT people and they are worth avoiding.  However, all people including LGBT people need God close to us so that we can find our way through this world of prejudice, fear and religious oppression.  Contrary to the words of fundamentalist Christians who have read the Bible, but never studied it to save their own lives, LGBT people are created out of the love of God as we are, and are called to love God, one another and even those who hate us, just as much as anyone else.

Yesterday in Lavendar Magazine there was a terrific article written about the local Courage Chapter.  This is a chapter of the Courage Apostolate that was started by the Late Cardinal Cook.  Anyone reading my blog can find that article here.  As I read through the article I was most intrigued by the following paragraph and please note the text that I am printing in bold.

"During the only time I heard the Catholic priest pedophile scandals mentioned, it was Catholicism that was being persecuted, not the kids. One middle-aged man insisted with great indignation that he was “sick of everyone trying to destroy my church!” The University of St. Catherine, St. Joan of Arc Church in Minneapolis, and President Barack Obama, along with a man who had defected from the group and started a progay self-esteem website, were referred to with sarcastic derision."  

If the line in bold is suppose to refer to me, as I am a guy who left the group and started writing this blog, I am very interested in how a blog that supports the full inclusion of LGBT people in the Church and society through the use of Bible readings is referred to a "pro gay, self-esteem website."  If this is meant to suggest that those of us who are gay and for LGBT equality in the Church and society are seeking our own self-esteem because our sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression does not allow us to have any, it is very interesting to hear that from an ex gay ministry that encourages people who "have the disorder of same-sex attraction" to change it suggesting that it is low self-esteem that may have created it in the first place.  Self-esteem can be very damaged by suggesting that if we are LGBT, the only way we can be happy is to abstain from all romantic and physical relationships. When we are told not to love other people in the way we are created and we suppress our feelings for people of the same-sex, low self-esteem is an inevitable and damaging consequence.  It is also very interesting to me that a group such as the Courage Apostolate suggests that people like myself who are gay are so because of rejection by our parents, culture and the like. Yet, among the many things that group has been called together to do, is to "help" us reject that very part of ourselves that is the core of how we are created by God to love other people.  Exactly how is an individual suppose to grow any level of self-esteem with a philosophy like that?  If my blog which encourages LGBT individuals to seek out a relationship with the one Triune God who created us all out of love for love and find their self-esteem in the process, I am so honored by such a title.  The fact that such individuals have to stoop so low as to refer to me or whoever they are referring to with sarcasm to make yourselves feel better about the whole thing, I think it is time someone in that group went out on a date to find some real happiness in their life.  But to call yourselves a "ministry" when you encourage low self-esteem for LGBT individuals is hardly a group that leads people to a true understanding of yourselves and our relationship to God.

In his interview with Bishop Robinson, Bishop Christopher Senyonjo said that his litmus test for what is truly of God is love.  When we express love for each other and when love honors each other and finds it's hope and mercy in God, it is a love that is not only worth expressing through the greatest means possible, it is also a love worth defending and promoting equal rights for.  Therefore, let all Christians including LGBT accept the reality that all of us are created as good people by God and loved by Jesus Christ, and empowered by the Holy Spirit to fulfill what we have been placed on this good earth to do.  Love one another as God loves us.

Keep, O Lord, your household the Church in your steadfast faith and love, that through your grace we may proclaim your truth with boldness, and minister your justice with compassion; for the sake of our Savior Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. (Proper 6, Book of Common Prayer, Page 230).

O heavenly Father, who has filled the world with beauty: Open our eyes to behold your gracious hand in all your works; that, rejoicing in your whole creation, we may learn to serve you with gladness; for the sake of him through whom all things were made, your Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.  (Prayer for Joy in God's Creation, Book of Common Prayer, Page 814).

God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (Prayer for the Human Family, Book of Common Prayer, Page 815).  

My Beyond Ex-Gay Story

The following post can be found at: http://www.beyondexgay.com/narratives/philip

But please feel free to read it here. Everything printed here is from Beyond Ex-Gay.

Survivor Narrative

Philip Lowe, Jr.

My name is Philip Lowe, Jr. I live in the Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota area. I made the decision to start going to Courage meetings here in the Archdiocese of St. Paul & Minneapolis after I got out of a very bad same-sex relationship. It was a relationship in which I felt I was used a lot. While my ex and I lived together he had taken a lot of money from me without asking permission. When we broke up, he moved out while I was not at home and tried to take my cat who had belonged to me before we met and moved in together. This experience just left me lonely, angry and feeling like perhaps there really was nothing good about being gay. I was so tired of all the one night stands I had experienced. So, I decided to go to Courage meetings and got very involved with the conservative side of the Catholic church. I began attending Courage meetings from late August 2007 to about late November 2008.



Courage is the ex-gay ministry of the Roman Catholic church. The ministry was started at the end of the 1970’s under the guidance of Terrance Cardinal Cooke of the Archdiocese of New York. Courage treats homosexuality as a sexual addiction, like alcoholism and/or drug addiction. The Courage program uses the 12 step idea to help their members “recover” from “same-sex attraction.” Among the other philosophies of Courage is that individuals should not think of themselves as being “gay” or “lesbian.” To say that about ourselves is to “degrade” or to “diminish” ourselves to a “political title”. So they want their members to think of themselves as “men with same sex attraction” or “women with same sex attraction.” To basically say that the same sex attraction (SSA for short) is a “condition” that is treatable, changeable, and one that is what it is for various reasons. SSA according to Courage is not innate, but neither is it chosen. In the case of a man, something went wrong that discouraged his masculinity, and so he experiences same sex attraction, because he is searching for his masculinity and eventually finds it through “unhealthy, erotic behavior with members of the same sex.” Among the misconceptions of Courage is that Courage does not always recommend reparative therapy to “treat” same-sex attraction. In those cases where members might want reparative therapy they will gladly help them find a therapist who will do reparative therapy. For other members who might not want that, the Courage Apostolate is simply there to encourage members who attend meetings to “carry the cross” of same sex attraction and just do everything possible to avoid romantic or sexual contact with members of the same sex.

A typical Courage meeting took place on a Friday night, in a undisclosed location known only to Courage members. One of two Priests acted as a facilitator for the meeting. The meeting began with a prayer followed by reading the four goals of Courage. After the facilitator would ask “How has Courage helped you during this past week?” Then each person takes their turn talking about their struggles with chastity.

Not only does Courage not want their members to engage in sexual or romantic relationships with members of the same sex, they also attempt to treat masturbation as just another “symptom” of the greater “problem.” Many of us would go to meetings and talk about whether we had a good week or not. Did any of us masturbate? Did anyone run into someone from our past that caused us a “problem”? What kinds of spirituality did we use to help us with our “problems”?

At Courage meetings we were told to avoid any places of temptations that might exist. These included the malls, parks, bars, athletic centers or any where that might be a problem for us. We were encouraged to avoid any and all levels of “inappropriate intimacy” that could lead us to any kind of sexual or romantic intimacy with the same sex.



During my time in Courage my attitudes towards myself, my family and others became very bad. The more I avoided intimacy, the more I hungered for intimacy. By spring of my first year, I was already masturbating every day and crying bitterly after I ejaculated. I was punishing myself if I dared to look at any pornography. I was hungering to be loved, but not allowing myself to experience love. I eventually started working with an ex-gay therapist and even a spiritual director. In both cases, the more I attempted to flee being gay, the more being gay smacked me in the face. When meeting with my therapist and/or spiritual director, I would be told that either it was because of all the rejection I had experienced or because I did not know how to manage intimacy with others appropriately.

During my year with Courage, I experienced the betrayal of a different Parish Priest I had worked with as an organist during the past 3 years. This Priest was not associated with Courage, though was aware of the Apostolate. Though I did not experience any sexual abuse from him, I did experience some pastoral abuse from him as a Priest and an employer. During the year I spent in Courage, this Priest suddenly became my enemy and later in the year 2008 terminated my employment. Exactly why that happened I am not sure. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that what I had previously accepted about myself, and become comfortable with, I now was at odds with. Perhaps during that time, I became more of an enemy against myself and became angrier and angrier around other people. The Priest told me that all of the Choir members had quite because they just couldn’t take my “dictatorial” attitude anymore. I guess during that year, my attitude of being angry with myself became more than people in even a more traditional/conservative Parish could take.

At my last Courage meeting one of the guys there made the remark that he was beginning to become discouraged by the fact that because he was a man who had same sex attraction and was probably not going to overcome it any time soon, that he would never get married or have children.

There is a closeted Lutheran minister who attended Courage meetings to help him deal with his homosexuality. During the meeting that minister made a comment to the man who had the concern about not being able to marry or have children because of his sexual orientation, telling him that there are lots of gay men who are in heterosexual marriages and that he saw nothing wrong with him wanting to get married to a woman and have children, even though he is gay. That comment made me so angry because I remembered my days of being out. During my days of being out, I remember calling in on many phone date lines and hearing about the many bi/married men who just could not tell their wives about their sexual orientation and how painful that was for them. And here was a Christian minister encouraging this young man to marry with a mask over his face about who he is and what he is about.

After my experience with the Priest whose attitude towards me had changed while attending Courage meetings and my experience at the last Courage meeting, I started coming out all over again. I no longer went to Courage meetings, and I started making friends in the gay community again. I started going back to my old therapist who encouraged me to be a healthy gay man, and to seek out healthy relationships. The more I began to accept myself all over again, the better I felt. Though I was still struggling with the anger I experienced from Courage and the Priest who betrayed me, I was still yet becoming happier and finding a better sense of myself, because I was again accepting myself as I am, not as Courage thought I should be.

Philip Lowe, Jr. (right) with his partner, Jason

On February 7th of 2009, just two days after my 40th Birthday, I met Jason and we fell in love. My partner Jason’s life has also been affected by the religious right, but in a different way. But we have both been able to talk about our experiences and find companionship and intimacy with each other in a very healthy way. Since meeting Jason, we have both started attending a near by Episcopal Cathedral, where LGBT people are welcomed and affirmed. We even rode the float for the Episcopal Cathedral in the Pride Parade, and attended a Pride Liturgy that same afternoon. Since attending the Episcopal Cathedral, we have also met many ex Catholic Priests who are gay and now in relationships there.

Going through everything with Courage and now being in a happy relationship, I do think I am a better gay man for having gone through it all. I now know what goes on in an ex gay ministry, but I have also been able to come out of it with a better sense of myself and how God really wants my life to be. I have been learning that I am who I am, and God loves me as I am. As my partner Jason has told me so many times: “God knew you would be gay, long before you were born.” I believe that God knows us and loves us as we are, and wants us to be in healthy relationships with others, but also be in a healthy relationship with ourselves.