Scripture Reading
John 20:24-29 (NRSV)
Blog Reflection
This time of year Christians become very selfish. We are so excited as the celebration of the Nativity of our Lord approaches. The richness of our faith this time of the year becomes very real for me. Everything I believe as a Christian what is good and not so good about our faith has it's shining moment at Christmas.
It is by no accident that the Episcopal Church has placed the Holy Day of St. Thomas on December 21st. A day of meditation for the skeptic that is in all of us.
Last night in my personal prayer time I found myself at a moment of skepticism. I decided to pick Psalm 120 as the reading from Scripture that I would devote some time in prayer with. When I read verses 1 and 2 from the Coverdale Psalter in the Book of Common Prayer on page 778 I found myself with a real problem. The verses say: "When I was in trouble, I called to the LORD; I called to the LORD, and he answered me. Deliver me, O Lord, from lying lips and from the deceitful tongue." I was trying to meditate with verse 1 as it was, but something just did not seem right. Then I decided it was time to look up the same verse in the New Revised Standard Version. It reads: "In my distress I cry to the LORD, that he may answer me; Deliver me, O LORD, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue." Now something made sense to me.
The "distress" or even the "trouble" for which I cry to God is in the here and now. The "lying lips and deceitful tongue" that I need to be delivered from are talking here and now. When I finally arrived at that understanding, now God's Holy Spirit and I could have a conversation.
St. Thomas was not satisfied with the first words he heard from the mouth of the disciples. He was distressed by the events that had taken place. Jesus' death and passion made no sense to Thomas. He felt like whatever great thing he was hoping would happen because of Jesus just didn't happen. Kind of like the loan one needs to buy a house or a car, and the bank just didn't come through. Thomas felt like it was all useless and hopeless. The disciples words that they had seen and touched the risen Christ was suppose to suddenly make him forget the grief and loss he was feeling?
If there is one thing I would want Christians and LGBTQ people to understand is that the subject of religion and sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression remain a very painful experience for way too many people. After centuries of Christians basing their understanding of homosexuality as the ultimate, uncompromising no no because of erroneous interpretations from the Bible, it is taking and will take a long time before Christians and LGBTQ people will be reconciled. Especially since there are Christianist groups all around us in all denominations and/or branches of the Christian Church, even those that are open and affirming who are just not accepting this new understanding that God really does not condemn homosexuality and LGBT people. That being said, I do not think that parties on either side can blame each other for the skepticism that is there and is so very difficult to change.
LGBTQ people have such a negative experience of Christians trashing us, that when we hear the news of the Annunciation of Jesus to Mary, the story of Jesus' resurrection, we meet them with intense skepticism. Our ears hear a beautiful story of faith and inclusion. But, Christians from various walks talk to us and about us as if because of who we are and how we love others, we are on the damnation side of that message. After hearing that a hundred thousand times, along with "you can be saved, but only if you repent and change" many LGBT people just throw the faith back and say: "I want nothing to do with it."
On the flip side, many Christians in the pews have heard theologians, Bishops and many others talk about homosexuality in the negative for much too long. Most of the Christians who attend church are at the mercy of well educated women and men who are telling them their understanding of God's word as if everything they say must be taken literally with all the fear of the unknown that goes with it. So when an event like ordination of Bishop Gene Robinson in 2003 happens, Christians who have had this stuff grilled into them for years, just stand back and look on with a great deal of skepticism.
Skepticism in and of itself is not bad. Sometimes it is very important to sit back and think before moving forward. However, when skepticism is fed by ignorance and an unwillingness to continue learning and propels people to violence due to fear, that is not a good thing. Both sides of the issue of LGBTQ equality and inclusion need to be concerned about that. Realizing that there are always three fingers pointing back at you, when the one finger is pointed out at someone else.
Our Christian Faith that believes in God's perfect revelation of Self in Jesus Christ, who died and rose again from the dead, tells us that our skepticism needs to be met with what is real about the human experiences of every person. Grief and betrayal are real experiences for all of us. Disappointments and resentment will be there when we feel as if there is just no way out for us. The example of Thomas tells us that it is absolutely okay to question. It may be necessary at times to doubt doubt and want to know the truth about what we are seeing and/or hearing. Because when we just feel like we are completely at the end and just want to see God's power for ourselves, that is the moment when the Risen Christ comes to us and says: "Blessed are you that have not seen me, and yet believe." And we will see and touch something very tangible, very real and it will reveal God's Holy Spirit to us in a way that will meet our sadness and disappointment with the life changing random grace of God.
I understand the reason why many LGBTQ people have given up on faith and religion. I also understand why the whole subject of organized religion just causes LGBTQ people and many others marginalized by the Church, they just cannot go there without finding themselves in a distress that they just don't know what to do with.
At the same time, my own experience of being a gay, Episcopalian, partnered Christian has given me reason to know that there is as much good in the Christian Faith for me and my partner as there is the possibility that I will be crushed by something bad. Because God is so much bigger than all of that, and my being gay is not an obstacle for me to seek God in the way St. Benedict taught in his Rule. I know that not all of the good Christianity can do for my life is used up.
St. Thomas helps us know that no matter what we are feeling and/or experiencing in our lives. Even if it is the damned Church leadership that just makes us angry. The Incarnate Word in the Risen Jesus comes to us in the midst of our grief and confusion, and invites us all to put our hands in his hands, feet and side. God's revelation in Jesus heals our wounded skeptical faith and says "Blessed are they who have not seen me and yet believe."
We can move forward and learn new things about God, ourselves, the Church and each other. LGBTQ people certainly can be ordained as Bishops, Priests and Deacons, be in religious communities and function as lay people in the Church. So can women and those who remain marginalized in the Church and society. Those who are still skeptical about whether we should be doing these things or not, can step out and get to know an LGBTQ person of faith and be drawn into a renewed understanding of God and what the Bible teaches about diverse groups of people. The wounded relationships can be healed by God's Incarnate Word, crucified and risen again.
What is it we are still skeptical about?
Prayers
John 20:24-29 (NRSV)
Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with the other disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe."
A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe." Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe."
Blog Reflection
This time of year Christians become very selfish. We are so excited as the celebration of the Nativity of our Lord approaches. The richness of our faith this time of the year becomes very real for me. Everything I believe as a Christian what is good and not so good about our faith has it's shining moment at Christmas.
It is by no accident that the Episcopal Church has placed the Holy Day of St. Thomas on December 21st. A day of meditation for the skeptic that is in all of us.
Last night in my personal prayer time I found myself at a moment of skepticism. I decided to pick Psalm 120 as the reading from Scripture that I would devote some time in prayer with. When I read verses 1 and 2 from the Coverdale Psalter in the Book of Common Prayer on page 778 I found myself with a real problem. The verses say: "When I was in trouble, I called to the LORD; I called to the LORD, and he answered me. Deliver me, O Lord, from lying lips and from the deceitful tongue." I was trying to meditate with verse 1 as it was, but something just did not seem right. Then I decided it was time to look up the same verse in the New Revised Standard Version. It reads: "In my distress I cry to the LORD, that he may answer me; Deliver me, O LORD, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue." Now something made sense to me.
The "distress" or even the "trouble" for which I cry to God is in the here and now. The "lying lips and deceitful tongue" that I need to be delivered from are talking here and now. When I finally arrived at that understanding, now God's Holy Spirit and I could have a conversation.
St. Thomas was not satisfied with the first words he heard from the mouth of the disciples. He was distressed by the events that had taken place. Jesus' death and passion made no sense to Thomas. He felt like whatever great thing he was hoping would happen because of Jesus just didn't happen. Kind of like the loan one needs to buy a house or a car, and the bank just didn't come through. Thomas felt like it was all useless and hopeless. The disciples words that they had seen and touched the risen Christ was suppose to suddenly make him forget the grief and loss he was feeling?
If there is one thing I would want Christians and LGBTQ people to understand is that the subject of religion and sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression remain a very painful experience for way too many people. After centuries of Christians basing their understanding of homosexuality as the ultimate, uncompromising no no because of erroneous interpretations from the Bible, it is taking and will take a long time before Christians and LGBTQ people will be reconciled. Especially since there are Christianist groups all around us in all denominations and/or branches of the Christian Church, even those that are open and affirming who are just not accepting this new understanding that God really does not condemn homosexuality and LGBT people. That being said, I do not think that parties on either side can blame each other for the skepticism that is there and is so very difficult to change.
LGBTQ people have such a negative experience of Christians trashing us, that when we hear the news of the Annunciation of Jesus to Mary, the story of Jesus' resurrection, we meet them with intense skepticism. Our ears hear a beautiful story of faith and inclusion. But, Christians from various walks talk to us and about us as if because of who we are and how we love others, we are on the damnation side of that message. After hearing that a hundred thousand times, along with "you can be saved, but only if you repent and change" many LGBT people just throw the faith back and say: "I want nothing to do with it."
On the flip side, many Christians in the pews have heard theologians, Bishops and many others talk about homosexuality in the negative for much too long. Most of the Christians who attend church are at the mercy of well educated women and men who are telling them their understanding of God's word as if everything they say must be taken literally with all the fear of the unknown that goes with it. So when an event like ordination of Bishop Gene Robinson in 2003 happens, Christians who have had this stuff grilled into them for years, just stand back and look on with a great deal of skepticism.
Skepticism in and of itself is not bad. Sometimes it is very important to sit back and think before moving forward. However, when skepticism is fed by ignorance and an unwillingness to continue learning and propels people to violence due to fear, that is not a good thing. Both sides of the issue of LGBTQ equality and inclusion need to be concerned about that. Realizing that there are always three fingers pointing back at you, when the one finger is pointed out at someone else.
Our Christian Faith that believes in God's perfect revelation of Self in Jesus Christ, who died and rose again from the dead, tells us that our skepticism needs to be met with what is real about the human experiences of every person. Grief and betrayal are real experiences for all of us. Disappointments and resentment will be there when we feel as if there is just no way out for us. The example of Thomas tells us that it is absolutely okay to question. It may be necessary at times to doubt doubt and want to know the truth about what we are seeing and/or hearing. Because when we just feel like we are completely at the end and just want to see God's power for ourselves, that is the moment when the Risen Christ comes to us and says: "Blessed are you that have not seen me, and yet believe." And we will see and touch something very tangible, very real and it will reveal God's Holy Spirit to us in a way that will meet our sadness and disappointment with the life changing random grace of God.
I understand the reason why many LGBTQ people have given up on faith and religion. I also understand why the whole subject of organized religion just causes LGBTQ people and many others marginalized by the Church, they just cannot go there without finding themselves in a distress that they just don't know what to do with.
At the same time, my own experience of being a gay, Episcopalian, partnered Christian has given me reason to know that there is as much good in the Christian Faith for me and my partner as there is the possibility that I will be crushed by something bad. Because God is so much bigger than all of that, and my being gay is not an obstacle for me to seek God in the way St. Benedict taught in his Rule. I know that not all of the good Christianity can do for my life is used up.
St. Thomas helps us know that no matter what we are feeling and/or experiencing in our lives. Even if it is the damned Church leadership that just makes us angry. The Incarnate Word in the Risen Jesus comes to us in the midst of our grief and confusion, and invites us all to put our hands in his hands, feet and side. God's revelation in Jesus heals our wounded skeptical faith and says "Blessed are they who have not seen me and yet believe."
We can move forward and learn new things about God, ourselves, the Church and each other. LGBTQ people certainly can be ordained as Bishops, Priests and Deacons, be in religious communities and function as lay people in the Church. So can women and those who remain marginalized in the Church and society. Those who are still skeptical about whether we should be doing these things or not, can step out and get to know an LGBTQ person of faith and be drawn into a renewed understanding of God and what the Bible teaches about diverse groups of people. The wounded relationships can be healed by God's Incarnate Word, crucified and risen again.
What is it we are still skeptical about?
Prayers
Everliving God, who strengthened your apostle Thomas with
firm and certain faith in your Son's resurrection: Grant us so
perfectly and without doubt to believe in Jesus Christ, our
Lord and our God, that our faith may never be found wanting
in your sight; through him who lives and reigns with you and
the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. (St. Thomas the Apostle, Book of Common Prayer, page 237),
Purify our conscience, Almighty God, by your daily visitation,
that your Son Jesus Christ, at his coming, may find in us a
mansion prepared for himself; who lives and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever.
Amen. (Fourth Sunday of Advent, Book of Common Prayer, page 212).
O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, our only Savior,
the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the
great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away
all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us
from godly union and concord; that, as there is but one Body
and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith,
one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may be all
of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth
and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and
one mouth glorify thee; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen. (Prayer for the Unity of the Church, Book of Common Prayer, page 818).
O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us
through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole
human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which
infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us;
unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and
confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in
your good time, all nations and races may serve you in
harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ
our Lord. Amen. (Prayer for the Human Family, Book of Common Prayer, page 815).
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