Proverbs 2:1-9 (NRSV)
- My child, if you accept my words
- and treasure up my commandments within you,
- making your ear attentive to wisdom
- and inclining your heart to understanding;
- if you indeed cry out for insight,
- and raise your voice for understanding;
- if you seek it like silver,
- and search for it as for hidden treasures--
- then you will understand the fear of the LORD
- and find the knowledge of God.
- For the LORD gives wisdom;
- from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
- he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
- he is a shield to those who walk blamelessly,
- guarding the paths of justice
- and preserving the way of his faithful ones.
- Then you will understand righteousness and justice
- and equity, every good path;
Psalm 119: 129-136 (BCP. p.774)
Philippians 2: 12-16 (NRSV)
Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed me, not only in my presence, but much more now in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Do all things without murmuring and arguing, so that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, in which you shine like stars in the world. It is by your holding fast to the word of life that I can boast on the day of Christ that I did not run in vain or labour in vain.
Luke 14:27-33 (NRSV)
Jesus said to the crowd, "Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying, `This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.' Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions."
Blog Reflection
It is almost impossible for me to put into words what this day means for me. Twenty years ago this upcoming Fall was the first time I visited Glastonbury Abbey in Hingham, Massachusetts. Glastonbury is a Roman Catholic Benedictine monastery of the Swiss American Federation. It was also the first time I ever read any part of The Rule of St. Benedict. I remember reading what I read and thinking: "What a crazy guy he was!" Yet, the Holy Spirit did something then. Since that day, no Saint in all of Christendom has drawn my attention or influenced my walk with God the way St. Benedict has. Even as I have worked my way to becoming Episcopalian, and now a Novice with the Companions of St. Luke/Order of St. Benedict, my ability to put into words the change God has made in my life because of this Patriarch of Western Monasticism never seems adequate.
The Rule of Benedict is wisdom literature. It is so appropriate then, that the Liturgy for St. Benedict's Commemoration begins with a reading from Proverbs. Wisdom literature. The writer as well as Benedict understood that growing in the knowledge and love of God, begins with our willingness to listen attentively by "inclining the ear of the heart" (Prologue as written in Preferring Christ: A Devotional Commentary on the Rule of St. Benedict, p.2). To listen to God requires something of us. It is having our whole selves open to receive what God may be saying to us, and receiving it with gratitude. It is more than listening to a radio station to just pass the time. It is a listening to God with the intention of receiving in faith the "admonition of your loving Father" and "faithfully fulfill" what is asked of us. If it is our desire to live in reverence to God, then our desire must be nourished by love of God, neighbor and self. We cannot accomplish such, without taking time to listen intentionally to God speaking to our hearts.
Jesus reminds us in the Gospel that following Him requires us to take into account the serious nature of our desire. Discipleship is costly. There is discernment involved. Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB at last Winter's Trinity Wall Street Institute said: "Discernment is a dangerous openness to God." It means that we accept what God wants for us as God's will, and we are prepared to let go of our own. As long as we are attached to things that draw us away from God, it is very difficult to let go of anything so as to serve God faithfully and with a total openness to God's will. This means we must be as open as possible to the evolutionary God. The God that is not abstract, or motionless. But, the God that is ever moving, growing and inviting us into God's work of redemption from one generation to another.
There remain many preachers and teachers of Bible and the Christian Faith that suggest that unless a questioning individual surrenders her/his sexual orientation that is not straight, and/or their gender identity and/or expression that is not cisgender, that one has not given oneself over to God. LGBT people are continually told that they are dirty, unsaved, unwelcomed and in eternal danger unless they change who they are into who they are not. This is not the kind of discernment that is part of God's saving grace for any person. What is a part of the discernment for any person, regardless of who they are, love and the like, is how they are going to live who they are in a way that brings honor to God and respects the dignity of others. As a gay man, who is partnered and a Benedictine Novice, I can chose to exercise the gifts God has given me, by knowing that I am first and foremost beloved by God. Then, in that and with that, I can chose to give over my need to manipulate and use my partner, and/or anyone else I am in a platonic relationship with for my own personal pleasure. Instead, I can see that to pick up my cross and follow Jesus, for me means that I do not engage in useless bar parties, sex parties and/or other avenues that seeks to use the gift I have of being gay to misuse others and disregard their dignity. When I use the gift of God to love God, others and myself in a way that is nourishing, life-giving and creative of community and relationships, then I can truly say I am happily gay and there ain't no one taking it away.
Furthermore, one of the things I have learned over this past year during my times as a Postulant is that while I love the word "gay" and am happy that I have that gift, it is something that is a dear part of me, but it is not the label that defines me by God's standards. It is a label created by those who use such a word to discriminate and lower people who are not of a heterosexual orientation into a second class of persons to dehumanize. Before I am "gay," and in front of anything I might use that word to mean, I am an adopted son, beloved by God through Jesus Christ. And so is every woman, man or child who is labeled by society and others as LGBT, or African American, Islam, Latino, Native American, etc.
I have been learning this, as St. Benedict addresses me (and possibly you) with the words:
Listen carefully, my son [or daughter], to the master's instructions, and attend to them with the ears of your heart. This is advice from a father [or mother] who loves you; welcome it, and faithfully put it into practice. The labor of obedience will bring you back to him from whom you had drifted through the sloth of disobedience. This message of mine is for you, then, if you are ready to give up your own will, once and for all, and armed with the strong and noble weapons of obedience to do battle for the true King, Christ the Lord. (Prologue 1-3 RB 1980, p.15).
Amen.
Prayers
Almighty and everlasting God, your precepts are the wisdom of a loving Father: Give us grace, following the teaching and example of your servant Benedict, to walk with loving and willing hearts in the school of the Lord's service; let your ears be open to our prayers; and prosper with your blessing the work of our hands; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen. (Holy Women, Holy Men; Celebrating the Saints, p.457).
God our Father,
you made St. Benedict an outstanding guide to
teach us how to live in your service.
Grant that by preferring your love to everything else,
we may walk in the way of your commandments.
We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
O Lord my God,
Teach my heart this day where and how to see you,
where and how to find you.
You have made me and remade me,
and you have bestowed upon me
all the good things I possess,
and still I do not know you.
I have not yet done that for which I was made.
Teach me to seek you,
for I cannot seek you unless you teach me,
or find you unless you show yourself to me.
Let me seek you in my desire,
let me desire you in my seeking.
Let me find you by loving you,
let me love you when I find you. Amen.
(Prayer of St. Anselm, St. Benedict's Prayer Book for Beginners, p.118).
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